I Don't Love You
by Jaganchi B
Summary: When Rachel is sucked in the YYH world, no one can tell her why or how it happened. While Hiei seems to ignore her but show up in the nick of time to rescue her just in time, whispers of Kurama's sister are heard in hushed voices. Where does Rachel fit in
1. Don't Bother

Chapter One: Don't Even Bother

"Rachel wants Hiei to stick his dragon in your spirit energy" said my best friend and roommate Jenny, mocking me. I stuck my tongue out at the dirty pun and proceeded to set up the dvd player and popping a Yu Yu Hakusho disk.

"Ya, okay, because you don't _adore_ Kurama." I mocked back.

Jenny gave a small sigh and threw a pillow in my direction. "They are are all so perfect and different. Why can't guys in our class be more like that. Perfect, not different" I shrugged as she rambled on. "I mean I know you would want to marry Hiei and then have some Kurama but you are just better suited for Hiei because of your height..." I stopped listening as I cleaned the disk that just didn't want to play. I finally got the dvd player working and pressed play as Kurama was locked in a match during the dark tournament.

"Why can't _they _just be real" I muttered, motioning to the tv. "Oh no," I whispered as I began to feel sick to my stomach and my head felt like it was being split open. I clutched the sides of my head and I heard what seemed like white fuzz and my eye sight went a little wonky.

"Are you okay?" Jenny asked me, but I didn't hear her. There are times in my life when I get black outs after little headaches. Doctors told me it was from the stress of having my entire family, including my parents and baby brother, die in a terrible house fire 5 years ago when I was 18, but this headache or _whatever _this was, was something new. "Rachel, Rachel!" I could hear Jenny's voice calling out to me frightened, but she seemed far away some how.

The room began to spin. I reached out and grabbed Jenny's hand to steady myself to no avail. The last thing I saw before I lost consciousness was a dark tournament match. I was able to make out the idone box being opened and mist swirling around Kurama. Then I saw Jenny's panicked face and I saw no more.

I landed with a hard thud on the bottom floor of a strange building. I wanted to vomit, but someone's black shoes were in my way. I looked up to see who was blocking my path and it was none other than Yusuke Uremeshi. pointing his trademark spirit gun right at my forehead. I held my hands up in surrender and got to my feet slowly. So, then I did what any Yu Yu Hakusho fan would do. I screamed.

I heard footsteps running towards us, Boton,Kurama, and Kuwabara appeared before my eyes.

"What in heaven's name?" Boton scolded Yusuke. "Are you trying to scare her to dealth?"

Yusuke dropped his hand and put it behind his head. "Sorry, it was a reflex."

I sat in aw, watching them interact. I scanned the group and wondered if I was hallucinating. Well, if I was, oh well, gang's all here, except one. Hiei. My heart sank.

Boton quickly explained how they knew who I was. Apparently they had been looking for me, and when I was tuned it, the frequency picked me up. I guess my subconscious wanted to explore their world and them looking sucked me in. She introduced everyone, even though I already knew. I glanced around, still no sign of Hiei (I wasn't entirely surprised) or Jen.

"Am I dreaming?" I mused "Someone pinch me. This can't be happening."

"I doubt even if a demon _wanted_ to pinch you, they wouldn't be able to find your weak spirit energy. And yes, unfortunately human, it is real. I could slit your throught to prove it if you would like" Someone shushed him, as I listened to the dry sarcastic comment come from behind me. Boton didn't need to introduce him, I was no idiot, or at least not when it came to...

_Hiei._

I pinched myself, and for the record, it did hurt. _Could it be? Im not dreaming_? _How in the world?_ I turned around extra slowly, barely moving, my eyes wide. I felt as as though if I moved to fast, he'd disappear, they'd all disappear. As my eyes adjusted, I realized I was right, less than five feet in front of me, my dream guy, my hero, my short, sarcastic, dark spikey-haired fire demon that possessed the Jagan eye. It was I could do not to faint (again). I would have run up and hugged him if I didn't think he would instantly snap me in half. So we just stood there, staring at each other awkwardly.

Glancing upwards, a portal opened and Jenny came flying out of it in hysterics. "Somebody catch me!" I shoved Yusuke right into her path and she landed easily in his arms and placed her on her feet. No sooner had he put her down her knees buckled beneath her. I knelt beside her and helped her gingerly to her feet. Jen stepped carefully from step to step, like the ground would swallow her up if she wasn't cautious. I know, it seemed like we were acting really foolish, floors swallowing us up, thinking people would disappear, but just _look_ at the situation. I was pretty sure we had just been sucked into the TV.

"You were not sucked into the TV" said Kurama, as if reading my thoughts, and for all I knew, maybe he was. "Boton summed it up, We can't tell you exactly how or why, though"

I nodded and shuffled my feet as Boton saved me. "We should get a move on." She appeared to sense the tension. "We want to get there before dark." she gestured as we began to literally put our best foot forward.

A short time later, oddly even though I had no real experience dealing with energy, spirit, demon or otherwise, I felt a tickle in the back of my mind. It seemed as someone near me was becoming very frustrated. I tilted my head to look behind me. "Problem Hiei?" He ignored me, I honestly wasn't surprised. The tingling in the back of my mind surged, then hurt and I whipped around angrily. "Hey! You guys are the ones who sucked me in or whatever. So clearly I'm confused. So don't waste your time trying to pick my brain because I have no idea. And even if I did, I have a block up." Everyone exchanged looks due to my sudden outburst so I just added fuel to the fire. "This little brain-peeping-tom here was just digging around."

"How do you know you have a block?" Kuwabara asked

"My doctor told me there was something in my brain that triggered the black-outs and said it was my body's way of dealing with stress by giving me the blackouts where I can't remember anything and have no idea what my body is doing. He said its strong enough to fool a professional profiler or a polygraph test. I guess I figured Hiei's special talent just went hand-in-hand."

"You'd be correct." Said Kurama and I suddenly wondered if I'd said to much. They all looked at me like I had completely lost it. However, with shaking heads, they let it go and we continued on our destination which was still a mystery to Jen and myself.

Hiei threw me a look of pure loathing and I stuck out my tongue in retaliation. _Yes I know, so mature._ Hiei just continued to stand there, facing back the way we came. So far he was running pretty close to character. I stopped and waved my hand in front of his eyes (all three of them), he seemed unfazed. "Hello, _earth_ to Hiei! We are going _that_ way! You have to move to get there! It won't appear out of nowhere!"

As I blabbered on, Hiei suddenly disappeared from my sight. Now, I'm no mind reader and I have no idea how this happened, but it did and for some reason, I seemed to sense what Hiei was going to do before he did it.

I felt his energy and heard Kurama mutter, "Here we go again, Hiei's doing it again, when will he learn that..."Kurama didn't get to finish his train of thought because at that that exact moment, Hiei was flying in the air towards me. I had felt him coming and threw my hands up in the air, not really trying to stop him, but just because I was startled. _Somehow, _my fingers got twisted up in his shirt and when I tried to get free, I ended up throwing him in the opposite direction. I knew it wasn't over. Hiei was way to damn stubborn to just lie down and take a hit. He bounced back quicker than a rubber band threw a rain of punches my direction. I guess I was having beginners luck and managed to duck each one. Out of fear, I went to shove him away and I ended up accidentally knocking him straight in the jaw. I scooted out of the way just in time before he had time to counter.

"Whoa..." I heard Jenny whisper quietly. Yusuke, Boton and Kuwabara nodded furiously in agreement. i dusted off my hands as I trembled behind Kurama, not wanting the fight to continue. I had a hunch my luck was about to run out.

"Enough!" scolded Kurama, Hiei glared and pursed his lips. When he walked away and continued up, the rest of us kept walking as well in an uncomfortable silence.

Without thinking, I said the first thing that came to my mind. "You know, for a little guy, you're _really _heavy." Hiei stopped walking and I saw him stiffen. Hiei's hand moved gracefully to his katana.

Yusuke muttered, "Do it for Kurama." to Hiei and I saw Hiei and Kurama exchange looks. I think something may have been said telepathically. Im thinking something along the lines of _Don't kill her, Hiei._ Out of the corner or my eye I saw Hiei nod curtly when he thought I wasn't looking.

I didn't know what was going on, but I quickly realized that us being brought here was no accident and had something to do with everyone's favorite red-head. The question was what. I nudged Jenny, the less physical of the two of us. "How you holding up?" I asked her.

She looked positively green. "I don't think I can walk much further."

"You're in luck." said Kurama. "We're here. Welcome to Starshot Temple." Maybe all my questions _were _about to be answered. Glancing at Hiei and Kurama, I quickly took that back. There were more questions than I could ever hope to anwser.


	2. You're Lying

Chapter two- You're Lying

Later that evening I excused myself. Jenny wanted to come with me but I told her to stay and get to know everyone. Oddly, I felt right at home. When I was sure I was alone, wandering a few feet deep into the woods that surrounded the cottage, I kicked a tree. I turned by back on it and leaned on the bark, slumping to the ground. I thought back on the events that had happened since arriving.

"We want to run some tests." Explained Kurama, "See if you really belong here."

I nodded, "What about Jen?" I asked.

"Actually, that was an accident. What we believe happened was, you had traces of alcohol in your system and when you drank that wine tonight coupled with your almost-black-out and on top of that, the symptoms of the idone box seemed to have a placebo effect on you. Then you ended up here, you must have reached out your hand and Jenny was pulled along as well. Kinda like a fish and a hook you see."

I wasn't sure how Jen was taking this, but my head was spinning. How was any of this possible? The words _see if you belong here_, echoed in my brain. "Where do I belong?" I muttered

"You do not belong back in America." Said a voice, it was hard to believe he could hear a whisper I could barely hear myself. I looked around trying to find the owner of the voice but was met with only trees and grass and unfortunately even more mysteries. "You belong in this world." Came the voice again. "As much as I can't stand your human stench, it is here you should stay. You are Kurama's sister. You are reincarnated just as he was, hiding in human world. And besides," he sneered, "you have nothing to go back to." Then it hit me, I was actually amazed it took me as long as it did to place the voice.

"Alright, Hiei, you have my attention. So quit playing hide-and-seek and come talk to me like a normal person. Or are you still mad that I knocked you on your butt this morning?"

"Right before cowering behind your brother." The fire demon snorted, "and yes, I'm terrified." I glared at nothing, still unable to place his exact location.

"What a sick thing to say! Everyone knows the rumors say that Kurama's sister was killed by Yomi for revenge after Yoko betrayed him and reincarnated himself." It was at that moment I realized I was shouting, but I didn't care. "If you are oh-so-powerful with your jagan why didn't you tell Kurama yourself?" I didn't know why I was antagonizing him, I knew how powerful he was. I was asking to get my butt kicked.

Hiei seemed to fall straight from the sky, landing gracefully three feet directly in front of me. A scowl covered his face. "You think you are so smart just because you have seen the spirit world tapes of all of us. Our pasts, our lives." Hiei narrowed his eyes at me. "Those tapes don't show the what-ifs. There are just things you don't understand, Girl."

"But like you said I have…."

Hiei cut me off, "Have you seen a grave or a a body on those tapes? Or a soul going to spirit world, you'd think they would at least have that." I didn't respond, getting more annoyed by the second. "The look on your face tells me everything I need to know without having to read your mind." He sneered.

I narrowed my eyes as well. "You're lying." I told him. He seemed to vanish into midair and before I had time to react, he shoved me, snatched my hand and held it to his jagan hidden lightly glowing beneath his headband. "Hey what's the big ide…"I trailed off because suddenly my eyes weren't seeing the woods anymore. I was staring at myself looking about two years old and Kruama playing catch with me. Then the next scene a few years later with us sparing and smiling. I saw Kurama's gang being ambushed and finally the red-head Kurama meeting Hiei and Gokai to steal the sacred artifacts to save his human mother, then telling Yusuke. 'I've already lost one family member. I refuse to lose another.' Hiei removed his hand, the images were gone and he was walking away.

"Hey!" I called to his back. "How the hell do you know all that? How did you do that?"

He paused and looked over his shoulder hissing, "I did nothing." He kept walking and shot straight into the air and was gone.

I rolled my eyes. _Should'a known._ I was so furious with Hiei, my hands clenched into fists, trembling. He was my favorite character but for why the hell did I think meeting him in person would make him any less of sarcastic jackass? It wouldn't.

Late into the night I was awoken by faint murmurs. I looked at the clock, it was just after three in the morning. What could they possibly be discussing so secretly at this hour? "I mean its _possible_." I heard Boton say as I inched closer. "But Kurama, we just don't want you to get your hopes up is all. I mean given the possibility that it isn't her. Giving her the test would be dangerous, even deadly." I wondered what kind of test they could be talking about. Somehow I didn't think it was your typical math test, the only other one that came to mind was the test Genkai gave to Yusuke and that did _not _look pleasant.

"The last three weren't." Came Genkai's voice

"Way to be sympathetic, Grandma." Yususke said sarcastically.

"Well you have to face the facts!" Genkai retorted angrily "You either nut up, do the work and if need be suffer the consequences or you give up. Which one is going to be, because the fact of the matter is, Rachel doesn't know what's right to do. She will make whatever choice _we _ask her to. So Kurama, I'm not going to sit here and pretend I can influence you when I can't!"

I felt a strong urge to sneeze, but I covered my mouth and willed it away. I noticed that I had inched even closer during Genkai's rant, and if I had wanted to, I was close enough to reach out and grab Hiei's cloak. There was no way he couldn't feel me so close to him. I know he made the crack about me not having spirit energy but Hiei's senses were higher than a normal demons'. So why wasn't he ratting me out?

"Detective," I felt Hiei's grasp around my arm before I even saw him turn around. "I think you should know, this conversation is no longer private." He yanked me into the room with such force that I stumbled and had to cling to him to keep from falling over. I guess I spoke to soon. I regained my footing and seriously thought I was about to cry. What came out was not tears, it was anger.

"Look at you!" I yelled "All of you! Standing around deciding _my _future? I am not a child and I refuse to be treated like one! You didn't summon me here, I got here by accident because of _my_ mind. So, if there is a discussion about weather or not I should stay, _I _should be included. I'm not your newest case, you said you were going to run some tests of whatever, do it then, stop trying to put me under a microscope like some insect!"  
>I let out a howl of rage as I stormed out of the cottage. I began climbing a tree to try and focas my mind on anything other than how angry I was. I was so annoyed that without even realizing it, I was near the top. I wasn't paying much attention and my last step could have been my last. A limb snapped beneath me and I began to tumble to my death. Luckily (or unluckily, depending on how you look at it) Hiei appeared seemingly out of nowhere and caught me midfall. He landed safely on the ground. "Thanks." I grumbled as he placed me on my feet.<p>

I started to walk away again until I heard him mutter, "Pathetic human."

I whirled around, I was already peeved and he was just adding to my annoyance. "Excuse me?" I cried, "Did you just call me pathetic?" Hiei rolled his eyes as if to say _well ya_ and ignored me completely, a gesture that did not go unnoticed. "Oh yeah?" I challenged. "Well how pathetic is it that you _could_ tell Yukina who you are because you're contract with Saguria the demon surgeon is gone but you're just _afraid_ to tell her who you really are!"

Hiei lost his composure for about a half a second, then he was back to normal. "Hn, well then why don't you tell Jen and Kurama all about how the fire was _your_ fault and how you single handidly murdered your baby brother." My face drained of all color. How the hell did Hiei even know about that? Nobody knew. That was a really low blow in any case.

I marched up to Hiei "That was an _accident!_" I said harshly as I shoved him. "Now, you listen here, three eyes, You don't talk to Jen, you don't look at her! You don't even try to hear her thoughts. You understand me?" Hiei looked thoughtful for a moment. I'm not sure if he wanted to laugh at my bad attitude or cut my head off. He then seemed amused by my words.

"So humans really are as deceitful as I've always thought. Hm, that's good to know." He sneered with the strangest expression on his face.

I shot him the most distasteful look I could muster, glared and leaned forward. "I mean it, Hiei." I hissed "I don't know nor care about how you know that. But, you breathe one _word_ to Jen or the others about my family, and I _SWEAR_ I'll tell Yukina who you really are. Then I won't care what you do to me." I vowed and with that, I walked away leaving him being the one that was glaring now.

I wasn't sure what card I had just played but I wasn't bluffing and Hiei knew it. I was honestly surprised he didn't strangle me right then and there. But I knew this wasn't over, not by a damned long shot.


	3. What the Hell is Your Problem?

Chapter Three-What's Your Problem?

The next morning seemed to taunt me as I opened my eyes, feeling grumpy. I felt stiff as I pulled myself out of bed. My stomach rumbled and I realized I was starving. However, I didn't feel quite comfortable rooting around for food in someone's home. I decided a shower was the safest thing to do even if I didn't have any clean clothes to change into. They couldn't deny me a bath, right?

25 Minutes later, my hair combed and in yesterday's wardrobe, I wandered outside. I checked my watch, it was two in the afternoon, where had the day gone? Where was everybody? I walked around the entire cottage until I heard someone calling my name.

"Rachel? Is that you walking around up there? Come down here!" Came Jen's voice from beneath me. I followed the voice to a nearby stairway and realized it led to the basement. Everyone was sitting around playing cards, save Hiei who was sitting on the window sill.

"Good Morning." Beamed Kurama, playfulness in his voice.

"Where did you go last night, Rach?"Asked Jenny, clueless. My gaze wandered to Hiei, who didn't acknowledge me. It seemed he was taking my threat seriously. I shrugged.

"I just got hung up."

Yusuke stood up, "Kurama, Hiei, a word?" They walked by us and out the door they went. Hiei's clock brushed my arm and a shiver went down my back. Yusuke grabbed my arm and dragged me out of my chair. "You too"

Once outside, Hiei put his hands in his pockets and I crossed my arms. "I suppose we will have to do this the hard way." Said Kurama. I chewed my bottom lip, my annoyance from last night creeping up again.

"Alright you two, what the hello happened last night?" Demanded Yusuke, scowling. I fought the urge to start screaming at Hiei all over again.

Kurama sighed, adjusted his stance and placed his palms at his side. "I'm going to assume due to your silence that one of you let the other in on a little secret last night. As for which one of you, that remains to be seen."

I shuffled my feet and Hiei looked away. I'm sure to a bystander we looked like a couple of sullen toddlers refusing to make nice. "It was just a misunderstanding." I grumbled.

"Alright," yelled Yusuke, "I'm gonna start knocking your heads together if that's what it takes!"

I sighed heavily. Fine. I looked at Kurama and nodded my head towards Hiei. "Is it true?" I asked, "Is it true what he said?"

Kurama's eyes flashed angrily for a second before they returned to their normal calm. "It seems Hiei has let Rachel in on my little secret." He explained to Yusuke as if speaking to a child. "I'm guessing by the tension between the two of you, he was not so graceful about it." He exchanged looks with Hiei briefly before Hiei tiled his head back up the sky. "And I'm not sure that's the only thing that happened."

"I don't answer to her!" spat Hiei, finally acknowledging me.

"Maybe not, but you're still a jerk!" I muttered. Kurama and Yusuke giggled. I didn't see what was so damn funny.

"Jen told us about the way you two rank us when you were thinking it but a TV show." Explained Kurama. "Its ironic is all."

My jaw dropped. Everyone has their favorites but I never _dreamed_ I would have to sit there and explain to the would-have-been fictional characters. When it came to me, Kurama _almost_ tied Hiei for spot number one. Then came Yusuke with Kuwabara bringing up the rear. I started to stutter. "Well…I…you know…you…" For some reason I just couldn't put words together. _Say something!_ I screamed at myself. _Just say words, any words will do. _"Yusuke, its just I prefer some more strategy, like Kurama or…" I trailed off not wanting to say his name. Luckily, Yusuke interrupted me and saved me from further embarrassment.

"Don't sweat it kid, I'm used to people saying that." He laughed "Its not the first time I've heard that. I always can pull something out…"

He seemed to be taking it well, I was just glad Kuwabara wasn't present for this little get together. I was also very releaved Jen had been smart enough to not enlighten the boys that we also ranked them by _looks._ I turned to Kurama. "Kurama….I…"

He held up a hand to silence me. "No need to explain. Hiei is likable" He grinned, I wasn't sure if he was being sarcastic or not but Hiei scowled and I scoffed.

"He's quickly coming up behind Kuwabara."

That seemed to hit a nerve. "You think I _care_ if you some _human_ likes me or not? I could cut off your head before you'd even know I'd hit you!" he yelled.

"Oh! I'm shaking!" I retorted and wiggled my hands sarcastically. "But seriously though, what the hell is your problem?"

"You're my problem, girl."

"Thank you, because I couldn't figure that one out on my own."

"Children!" shouted Yusuke. "Can we please save some of it for the bad guys?" I wanted to retaliate _'he started it'_ but I kept my mouth shut.

Before I knew what was happening some low-life demon swung down and swooped me up out of nowhere. He carried me up the tree I had attempted to climb the night before. He was no one I recognized but that meant little. I kicked him hard in the gut which did little good. I briefly caught a glimpse of Kurama's rose whip heading straight for us. Suddenly we were falling. My foe kept struggling with me, trying to keep me beneath him. Hitting the ground with my human body from 100 feet in the air did not sound like fun to me. Once more, the rosewhip shot out and wrapped around the demon, slicing him to pieces while I continued my free-fall. All I saw was a flash of black zip by me and somehow I was no longer falling. I was back safely on the ground standing on my own two feet, Hiei walking away.

"Why did you save me?" I asked him gently. He didn't respond, he just kept walking. I felt like he was miles away as I chased after him, soon he realized this and I lost him. I walked in the general direction he had gone until I was met with Kurama.

"Are you alright?" He asked me.

I brushed myself off and shrugged. "Fine now. Hiei came out of nowhere and saved me. Second time, when I least expect it. Then he disappears." I paused, "Could I really be your sister?"

Kurama half-smiled "He does that." He looked to the ground silently, ignoring my other question entirely.

"Kurama?" I asked, tilting my head, attempting to get a glimpse of his face. "What's wrong?"

"Rachel, you and Jenny are going home in the morning." He said.

"Wa..why?" I stuttered. "I like it here. I'll do what I have to do to protect myself and…"

"That's not the point." Kurama snapped, "People are already after you and we don't even know if you are you and…" I'd never known Kurama not be able to form a sentence.

"Then how do we find out?"

"Its to dangerous." He said simply.

I felt tears coming to my eyes. "Kurama, I don't care if its dangerous. I don't have anything to go back to. The reason we got so drunk the other night is because I wanted a break from everything. I wanted to pretend for a few hours that I was okay. You don't know what I've done. I have no family and few friends. If I have family here, that's something, if I don't then I would rather die trying to find out then to never know. I can't go on pretending and I can't not know."

Kurama looked at me, he seemed to understand but I still think he was going to say no. So you can imagine my surprise when he said, "It is your decision, not ours to make. Come with me."

An hour later I was sitting in an empty room eyeing the drink that sat before me smelling something like grass and dirt. I wasn't thrilled with the way I had left things with Jenny but it couldn't be helped. If it worked and I lived, I could apologize, and if it didn't, well….it was best not to dwell on such thoughts. Kurama had told her that I was sick and needed some rest. Boton had taken Jen shopping for things she and I (granting I made it through) would need as we were still in yesterdays wardrobe and starting to get filthy. If we had told her the truth, she probably would have tried to talk me out of it. When carrying on earlier to Kurama, I had thought about it, but now I was scared. If she had tried to talk me out of it, I probably would have let her. But I couldn't not know, that feeling was the same.

…_.Hiei… _Why was I thinking of him now? I can't stand him, he was definitely living up to my expectations, sure everything he does with his bad attitude is witty and funny until you are on the receiving end of it. I attempted to shove him out of my brain to little avail. _If you don't survive this you'll never see him or any of them ever again._ As for Hiei, he made it pretty clear he didn't like me anyway. _Ok seriously FOCAS_. "Stop thinking about me." I saw Hiei in front of me, when I knew for a fact he was away from the cottage right now. I blinked but he was still there. My mind was playing tricks on me. "Can't do it, can you?" He mocked. I imagined us kissing and holding each other. The thought brought a fit of giggles. The image became fainter and fainter until it was no longer there. Me and Hiei, yeah…that'll happen. I frowned. I didn't like him anyway, but somewhere in the back of my mind thought, _That may be pushing it, but you could always be friends eventually things take time, especially with someone like Hiei._ That thought brought a smile to my face. Hiei and Kuwabara were even _sort of _friends now. Maybe it could work, I'd just have to give it a chance. Here goes nothing.

Bottoms up. "Please,please,please work!" I whispered.

It was the most peculiar feeling I've ever had. My legs felt as if there were made out of jell-o and my skin was made out of ice while my veins felt as though they had lava running through them. I got dizzy and room around me seemed to spin and then disappear around me. I saw my whole life flash before me. _So its true_ I thought, _You really do see your life before you die._ I briefly saw Hiei's place my hand to his forehead._ Guess I'll never know._ I then Hiei badly hurt and me tending to his wounds while he was unconscious. _That never happened! What's going on?_ Before I could think about it further, I saw my younger years and glimpses of a forest. Then everything went black.

I was running through a forest and I could see light up ahead. As I got closer, I could see red hair and a purple vest running towards me as well. _Mukuro?_ I saw her lunge at me, sword drawn. I heard her hiss "Die."

I woke up in cold sweat.


	4. I'm Not Going To Hurt You

Chapter Four- I'm Not Going To Hurt You

"Are you alright?" Came Kurama's soft voice from the side of the bed.

I turned my head to look at him "I...I think so..."I responded shakily, pulling myself into a sitting position.

kurama put an arm out to stop me. "No! Save your strength!" He protested but I felt fine. I struggled to remember what I had seen in my dream. I then caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and I leapt up, intrigued, ignoring Kurama's pleas.

My normally red hair had been turned jet black and my eyes had become more amber. I turned around, "Kurama, does this mean what I think it does?" My heart soared as he nodded. I don't know what came over me all of a sudden but I was overwhelmed with a sudden migraine and the feeling of a nosebleed coming on. Kurama rushed to my side and put his arm around my waist as my knees buckled beneath me and I clutched my nose. Then, just like that, I was fine again.

I hugged Kurama, who embraced me back. Kurama could finally end his search and I had a place to belong. A family, it made sense for me to be here. Hiei had been right after all, I just wished he would be a little more enthused about it.

A few hours later I thought it would be fun to wander around outside. I have always enjoyed being outdoors but was never very coordinated. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something glint in the moonlight.

I was so fixated on the strange item that I jumped when Kuwabara past me. I held out my hand to hold him up. "Kuwabara, where's Hiei?"

He shrugged. "Beats me, probably asleep in a tree somewhere." Yukina said something in the distance and Kuwabara needed to here no more and he was gone.

I smiled because I thought it was cute. I glanced over my shoulder and watched him go. I then returned to my quest to find the shining mystery object. I looked from side to side and crossed the last few feet. It was not what I expected. Hiei had left his katana laying on the deck, that was unusual. Looking around for a final time, I picked it up.

Now, I'm not saying I was suddenly amazing or anything but when I picked up the blade, it felt right. I less than gracefully swiped at imaginary opponents. The blade fell from my hands a few times and I picked it up embarrassed but continued. As I said, I wasn't great but for reasons unknown to me, the maneuvers I were attempting were at least better than I could have ever done before. It was just a hunch, but I had the thought that maybe it was some of my old spirit energy coming back, just as Kurama's had. I would have been lucky not to lose an arm. My thoughts wandered to Hiei's arm being paralyzed by pain in the Dark Tournament. _Damn it! Get him out of your head!_

I felt a prickle on the back of my neck. Someone was watching me. I turned around, hoping it was not another enemy. Well speak of the devil, Hiei was staring at me, and he looked none to thrilled. I felt myself go red in the face. I honestly didn't know what he was going to do to me. I may be the only person _ever _to touch his sword and tell the tale. Or would I be? "Hiei!" I gasped, as I attempted to put the sword back gentally, but it clattered to the ground loudly. "I'm _so_ sorry."

Hiei just watched it fall, the strangest look on his face. "Oh, don't mind me." He sneered. "I was just watching. Please continue." I suddenly became very frightened and I wasn't sure if he was being serious of not. He raised his eyebrows. "Go on."

My eyes locked onto Hiei's, I bent down, bending at the side to reach for his katana. The second my fingers clasped around the sword, Hiei slammed into me, pinning me against a nearby wall, katana now in his grasp. Although I was surprised he didn't have it to my thought.

My breathing got raged and my heart beat sped up. I swallowed hard and took a stab at humor to try and lighten the mood. "Been a while since I've seen my own blood." I mused.

Then Hiei did the strangest thing. He sheathed his katana and gently placed his hand over my mouth. He leaned forward and whispered in my ear. "Keep talking if you wan't to see more of it. Now, don't scream. I'm not going to hurt you." I nodded to show I understood. "Lower class demons would never attack if they were truly feeling any of our energies. They are obviously working for a stronger force and unfortunately they have already detected you." I know I should have been scared right then, but I oddly felt safe pressed up against him and listening to the vibrations of his voice. "I'm going to release you now. Keep quiet if you want to live." Hiei released his hand and scooped me up in his arms and bounded away.

After what seemed like miles, Hiei put me down. "Shh..." he whispered as he took my hand and pulled us into a tree. Third one I'd been in in since I'd been here..odd. With ease, Hiei sat on a branch and pressed his back into the trunk. "We have to stay here for a while." He told me. "Possibly all night, so you might as well get comfortable as your memories come back. You may have already noticed some things starting to come back. There's no telling what you might don't need you attracting every demon to our hideout."

I would have just nodded but he had closed his eyes. "Great, got it." I told him, gritting my teeth, while I moved around attempting not to make a fool of myself in front of the fire demon. "Hiei..." Those crimson eyes I adored so much looked at me. "About your blade..."

"Forget it," He snapped. "its not important." (Whoa). I sat in silence and tried to get comfortable. Hiei did not close his eyes again, he just watched me as I tried to get situated. How did he make it look so easy? Before I knew what was happening, Hiei had pulled me into his lap and thrown his cloth over both of us. He pressed my cheek to his chest and I snuggled into the warmth as it was starting to get quite chilly. He adjusted his arms to shelter me.

I tilted my head upwards to look at him. "Thank you, Hiei." I whispered.

"Don't get sentimental." He muttered back, but oddly the harsh tone was mostly gone from his voice. He pushed my face gently back into his chest. "This will hide your face and also I will have better control in case you begin to have an episode or we have to move quickly."

He adjusted once more and was still. I tried to press closer to him without him noticing, which didn't happen. His eyes shifted to me but otherwise did not acknowledge it and closed his eyes. Before I knew it, I was asleep.

_I was back in the den in America and burning some tea-light candles. I pulled out some of my ex's possessions with the intent to burn those next. Suddenly I heard footsteps on the basement stairs and I hid the tray under some magazines after quickly putting out the tiny flames. My dad and I talked for a little while and eventually my father poured himself a scotch on the rocks as we talked about my past relationships which never seemed to end well. When it came time to call it a night, my dad accidentally tripped over my backpack containing the rest of the possessions. The drink spilled everywhere. My dad said it didn't matter and we would get it in the morning. _

_ But running late from school the next day, I never got the chance to clean it up. Mom and Dad went down to have dinner in the den because the baby was sleeping upstairs and didn't want to wake him. Mother lit a candle to set the mood. The flame hit the liquor from the night before and that was it. By the time I heard the sirens and came running up the street, it was to late, the whole house was submerged in flames. There was nothing anyone could do but sit and watch in horror, and I was to blame._

I woke up with a jolt, still pressed up again the fire demon. "Hiei, are you awake?" A soft noise escaped his lips, pretending to be asleep. Even if he wasn't I was going to talk anyway. "Hiei, you know Kurama better than anyone..." I paused. "If I told him about the fire, do you think he'd still want me around?"

"You are siblings, of course. He would forgive just about anything."

I didn't mean to say it, "Then why won't you tell Yukina you're her brother?"

I felt his whole body stiffen. I remembered our last conversation about Yukina and other secrets. "Thats really none of your business." He opened his gorgeous crimson eyes and stared into mine. He sighed. "I'm a rouge and a convicted criminal. Even Yusuke has had to come and capture me. Do you think she'd be happy to know that her long-lost brother is a felon?"

"Wouldn't matter to me." I sighed as my eyelids seemed to droop again. I swear I saw Hiei smirk, but I couldn't be sure. "I trust you even though I barely know you. I trust you with my heart." I'd meant to say, _I trust you _with all _my heart._ Even though I'd realized what I'd said to him, it was still a nice moment anyway and I was sleeping without nightmares for the first time in months. Maybe Hiei was starting to come around to me...

3 weeks later, my back met cement for what seemed like the millionth time that night. "You're not trying!" Hissed Hiei.

I breathed heavily. "I am!" I gasped as Hiei snatched my katana out of my hand, then threw it and his own to the ground.

"Lets go!" He said, losing his cloak. Was he seriously trying to get me to fight him without any weapons? We had been sparing slowly and working on technique so I wouldn't need a constant body-guard.

"Hiei!" I pleaded. "I'm not ready!"

"You're pathetic!" He sneered. So much for him starting to like me.

"Insulting me won't make me fight you, Hiei." I was amazed at how far my temper had improved in just a few weeks. Before I had a chance to go on, Hiei was swinging punches. As hard as I tried, I couldn't block a single one, much less hit back. He knocked me straight in the stomach and set me flying. It felt like he had just made an energy bomb in his hand and hit me with it. I stayed down upon impact, hoping Hiei would get the message.

"I know that punch wasn't enough to keep you down. I'm not satisfied. Get up!"

"You're not satisfied in a fight where you are clearly dominate?" I spit a little bit of blood out of my mouth as I stepped shakily to my feet. I attempted to swing a wimp fist at him but it was of no use. I crumbled repeatedly, but refused to give up and Hiei still didn't want to let me quit. Was he trying to beat more power out of me? After what seemed like hours being a ragdoll, I just couldn't get up. I grabbed the bottom of his cloak. "Stop." I all but begged.

Hiei got a look in his eye that looked like he was spooked but it quickly vanished. _One must never let emotions enter the ring_ Came Hiei's voice. Wait, was I reading _his_ mind? Hiei hesitated and then picked me up. "Lets call it a night."

"Oh my gosh, Jen. How could I have forgotten?" it was later and Jenny was gathering her few possessions.

"Its different for me, Rach. I have family back home, and the start of term. I can't stay here." My face fell. "You know what I mean, I can't just drop off the face of the planet. People would notice."

"Like they wouldn't if I did. Got it." I said harshly

"You know that's not what I meant, Rachel." Jenny told me softly. "I'd stay in a heartbeat if I could." I understood where she was coming from but selfishly I still wanted her to stay. "I'll come visit." she offered me a half-smile.

"I don't think that's possible" She hugged me. The girl who was closer than a sister, my roommate was about to be gone. I couldn't imagine my life without her.

"I'm sorry. I can't stay." and then she was gone and I would probably never see her again. I wish the pain would stop. I was happy I had a family now, but part of me wanted to go with her. I cried, and I cried some more. Right then, I honestly didn't think I'd ever stop.

Hiei, of all people came to check on me a while later and I just drove him away. "Your mood swings are giving me whiplash. Either like me or hate me, I don't really care, just pick a side. I'm tired of trying to tiptoe around you and your attitude!"

"You try and do one nice thing and suddenly you're the bad guy! This is why I could care less if their entire species was wiped out. " He muttered as he left.

After that Hiei and I no longer trained together. He didn't even come near me. I apologized and my outburst seemed forgotten, things did not go back to normal. He was back to acting like a jackass but I still longed to be near him. The other half of the time I wished I'd never picked up his katana.

Still, I had a feeling things were going be okay eventually. Thats usually what I thought just before disaster struck.


	5. What Did I just Do?

Chapter Five- What did I just do?

Days past and Hiei still didn't speak to me. Several times I tried to tell Kurama about what I had seen before I came to after drinking the potion, but every time Hiei entered the room and I didn't want him more upset with me. I never really understood the relationship between Mukuro and Hiei but I knew there were definitely some underlying feelings there. I saw less and less of the fire demon each day until for three days, I didn't see him at all and I started to get worried.

On the fourth day I was rewarded. While I was home alone, I was walking past a window and I caught a glimpse of him in the distance training. I was still a little sore from the last battle we had had so I was reluctant to get close. I stared at him as he battled imaginary opponents and I watched in awe at his perfect skill.

Suddenly, he stopped short and looked directly at me. I held up my hands. "Oh please. Don't stop on my account." I started to walk away sadly.

"Wait," My spirits soared. "You may watch on one condition. _Of course._ I shrugged and waited. "Come here, I'm not going to yell across the field. I rolled my eyes and found the door.

"Well?" I asked him as I approached. I was excited about him allowing me to watch but I was not looking forward to a repeat of our last fight.

He nodded to the ground. "Sit" I raised my eyebrows, but obeyed. "I want you to tell me _exactly _what you remember about Makuro."

I gasped. _How in the hell?_ "I don't know much.." I bluffed, "I know that she was a slave and…"

"Don't play dumb with me, Girl." Hiei snapped.

"I thought you couldn't read my mind." I countered.

It was Hiei's turn to roll his eyes. "I _can't, _its called having ears. And even without reading your mind, you give a lot away just from your obvious emotions."

"I…Hiei, I don't want to fight with you."

"Then don't. But you might start a war if you don't tell Kurama and me." I was taken aback for a moment, then I waited for him to continue. He sighed and sat down cross-legged in front of me. "Listen to me, Girl. There are things you don't understand. The rumors all say that you were killed by Yomi. _However_, you have it in your head that Mukuro did it." I started to object but Hiei paid no attention. "Don't try and dress up the facts. You saw what you saw and its done. If its true then fine, if its not we will find out."

"Theres not much to tell." I told him, giving up. I leaned back on my hands and told him everything I could remember. Before I could tell Hiei it was his turn to hold up his end of the bargain, I felt something coming. "Hiei, do you feel that?"

He nodded and took a stance. "Where's Kurama? Go back to the house and stay there. Tell him to get his ass here."

I tried to mimic his body movement. "He's not here. No one is." I told Hiei, holding my fists up.

"Fool!" Hiei spat. "Go find some place to hide, I don't need to be babysitting!"

"Hiei, I'm staying."

"Fine, when you die, don't blame me."

I rolled my eyes, I guess that was his way of saying, alright, you _might_ be able to _almost_ hold your own. I stared into the distance as we both heard someone running towards us.

My eyes opened wide, "Hiei! Is that Shura?" For those of you who don't know, Shura is the son of Yomi who was created during the demon world tournament to fight on behalf of his father. This plan backfired and Yomi and his son were pinned against each other and even though Shura lost, Yomi assured him that he would face the spirit team down one day. I guess today was that day. Something clicked in my head and he got closer and closer. "Hiei, the fight between Risin, Mukuro and Yomi! They wanted Risin out of the picture. He was the only one ever to not eat humans. They played a good part but I think they were on the same side all along! Yomi was Kurama's second and therefore when Kurama betrayed him, Makuro took him in. There alliance was shaken when Yomi got stronger and became a part ruler himself!" The plan was to eliminate Risin and Mukuro would take over, Yomi at her side, but that wasn't what happened and thus the three way war!" I wasn't sure how I was getting all of this information but I felt certain that it was the truth.

Shura stopped short and laughed. "Finally figured it out, did you?" Hiei glared and I could see his fist shaking beneath the bandages. He knew it was true, too. "Took your group long enough. What, like 1000 years?" He sneered.

"What do you want, fool?" Hiei asked. Shura didn't respond, he just began powering up. He turned to me, "Run!" I don't know what came over me, but I felt urgency in Hiei's voice, something was not right.

"Be careful." I told him.

"Never mind me!"Hiei yelled, "Just get out of here!" With a final glance at Hiei's angry face, I turned around and took off.

"You shouldn't have run!" Shura laughed, chasing after me, "I can't guarantee a painless kill this way."

"Hey!" Hiei yelled, "Don't you think you're forgetting something?" Hiei violently swiped his sword at him but Shura just danced away, making Hiei madder. Shura finally decided that he couldn't keep dodging Hiei's attack and gave up on me for a little while. They faced off. I heard Hiei hit the ground and for some reason, I did something _really_ stupid. _Oh no Hiei!_ I stopped running and stopped to watch. Shura's glance shifted towards me and when Hiei noticed this, so did he. "What are you doing! Get out of the way!" he yelled. Shura sent a blast of shot blasts down the trail that I was on and I didn't have time to move. It seemed this had been his plan all along, knowing Hiei would send me away. I saw Hiei running towards me and Shura vanish. I felt as if I had been pelted with several bullets all over my skin,then everything went black.

I woke up in the dead of the night with someone's arm around me. I ached all over and hissed at the light when I opened my eyes "Hey! Remember when I had corneas?" I said sarcastically as I quickly shut them again. I felt the person next to me sort of smirk, but they didn't say anything. I thought maybe I had imagined it. Maybe they were asleep too. I struggled to turn on my side and press my back into their legs, as I was in a lot of pain. The person helped me gently and let me use their arm as a pillow once more. "Thanks Kurama. " I said. "Tell Hiei…" I trailed off as I felt (Kurama?) stiffen and I braved the light again and noticed the bandages on the arm I was laying on. I gasped.

"Tell me what?" Came the fire demons voice. I gulped, embarrassed. "Girl…"

I took a stab at humor, "My names Rachel. Not girl." Hiei did not appear to be amused as I tried to pull myself into a sitting position.

"I don't think so." He said, restraining me easily. His tone relaxed. "Tell me what?"

"I'm sorry I didn't listen, and tell Kurama, I'm sorry if I worried him."

"Is that _really_ what you were going to say?" he pressed.

I tried to even out my breathing. How did Hieiseem to know _everything. _I didn't respond to his question, I simply said. "I'm glad you're okay."

"You're lying." I felt him smirk and when I didn't respond he said, "I was just fine. It was you who needed looking after. Why didn't you run?"

"I heard you get knocked to the ground."

"So you decided you wanted to watch the fight?" exclaimed Hiei.

"Not exactly…" I paused. I was so exhausted I felt it didn't matter what came out of my mouth right then. "I was worried about you, I care about you Hiei…" I cleared my throat. "I know you don't really care for me but..I think I'm in love with you Hiei."

There was silence in the room. Hiei cleared his throat but said nothing. He was still restraining me when I confessed so I didn't get to see his facial expression. Thinking back now, I don't even want to imagine the sight of me. We sat like that for a couple of minutes and then Hiei adjusted a pillow under my head. He then left the room silently and did not return. I didn't have the strength nor heart to watch him go. I sat awake for at least 2 hours waiting for him to return, but he never did. Finally, My eyes were to heavy to keep open any longer.

_What did I just do?_


	6. Stupid Short Guys With Sharp Swords

Chapter 6-Stupid Short Guys With Sharp Swords

A week later, almost fully recovered, Kurama still kept me bed-ridden. On the third day I got a glimpse of myself in the mirror. No make up, my hair was so greasy it stuck up at weird angels, I hadn't been able to put on deodorant because it hurt too much to raise my arms, and I was pretty sure my teeth were starting to grow fur. Oh my gosh, Did I look like THIS when I confessed to Hiei? Speaking of Hiei, I hadn't spoken to him since, can't say I blame him. I caught glimpses of his cape passing just outside my door but other than that, nothing. Even though I was weak, my spirit awareness was still rising, as was my power, just like when I had held Hiei's Katana for the first time. My skins from my fox form were returning. So I knew that Hiei never lingered and I'm sure I never crossed his mind, even though he was on mine constantly. I wish I could see him, but what could I say? I couldn't take it back. It mattered not, Kurama wouldn't let me out of bed.

Just when I was about to start thinking I'd be contained to this room forever, Kurama brought me news. "Hello, sister. How are you?"

I pulled myself into a sitting position. "To be honest, I'm antsy." I paused. "How's Hiei?"

Kurama looked at me with pity, "His injuries were nothing compared to you."

I slumped on the pillow. He knew what I meant, and if he avoided it like that, that could mean nothing good. "That's not exactly what I asked."

Kurama offered me a soft smile and we sat in silence for a moment. "It seems your theory of Yomi and Makuro were correct. They are working together to eliminate you. I think its time we start a harder training, now that your injuries are not as severe and you have regained much of your former life's knowledge." I think Kurama could tell my heart wasn't really in it because he put his arm around me and said "Don't worry about it, I can't tell you exactly what to do about Hiei, he is a strange one, but he'll come around, but you may have to face the facts that he will never feel the way you do."

I felt tears well in my eyes. "I have no idea what you are talking about, Kurama. Hiei is just a stupid short guy with a sharp sword. He's just…just one of the team. I don't care."

"I know, " Said Kurama "Its hard isn't it?"

"What?"

"Not caring. " He gave me a half-hug.

I sighed and slumped against him. "Yeah," I whispered. "Kinda."

(HIEI'S POV)

As I hid underneath the window listing to Kurama and his sister, I felt like a fly on the wall. I couldn't help but smile when I heard the comment about 'short guy and sharp swords'. There was nothing that could be done. As I have always said, you must never let emotions enter the ring. With Kurama going out to reason with Yomi, as there would be no reasoning with Makuro, training would fall solely on myself. No emotion I repeated to myself. Its how Ive survived all these years, why change now? No good could come of it. Oh what am I worried about? I don't answer to her.

(Rachel's POV)

Kurama left, as he said he was going to and I was to face Hiei for the first time since my confession. When Hiei and I had slept in the tree together, I had felt inspired, like I might have skills that I could at least protect myself with. I had felt like the demons (no pun intended) I had from my past, I could tell people and they wouldn't haunt me anymore. Now I was more scared as ever as I walked into a clearing to meet Hiei.

His expression didn't change when he saw me. He shifted his stance and looked at me with cold, unforgiving eyes. I opened my mouth to speak, but he was miles ahead of me, detached. "Well, I'm going to assume because it is a foe we know, that the fighting style is going to be that of kill or be killed. You already know how to swing a sword and throw a punch now we go to the more critical 'how do I survive this one' techniques. " I hung on every word and did everything I could not to look him in those beautiful crimson eyes of his.

While I wasn't paying attention Hiei was charging at me, he hit me in the gut at full force and sent me hurtling backwards. I dropped down one knee and put my hands out at arm's length to break my fall and halted less than gracefully on one knee.

"Very good." Hiei said lifelessly then he ran up again and threw me in the air and then jumped as well and pounded me down. This one, I wasn't exactly sure what to do, I tried to flip and land on a knee again, but Hiei caught me about ten inches from the ground and set me down. "Yes, thats the way you want to do it," He said, "if you want to break your leg. Try again." We repeated the different throws for a while until Hiei was satisfied that I was improving. He never met my gaze though and his tone was the same as when I'd first met him. "Lets move on."

I leaned forward and put my hands on my knees, breathing heavily. I thought ' oh great, what now?' "Sometimes you will be falling with a foe." I thought back on my less than great experience with that. "You must always stay on top of him, if you let him use you as a human shield when you hit the ground, you are as good as dead." Without any further ado, Hiei picked me up and we were flying up the highest tree in the forrest. I took in the view for all of about two seconds before Hiei jumped with me. I screamed due to the shock then I remembered that this was training and Hiei wasn't messing around.

I did what I could to get on top of him and maintain it, but Hiei flipped me easily. I was able to do it once more, and the fire demon let me think I was winning for a few seconds, but once again I found myself beneath him. As we hurtled the ground, I attempted to pull it off once more, but the ground got closer and closer and I knew I had failed. Then Hiei did something I did not expect. About 5 feet above the ground, he rotated us easily once more in mid air and took the brunt of the fall.

Even though he had been on bottom when we crashed, I found him on top of me after we had rolled a little ways. I found crimson eyes looking at me for the first time in weeks. It was like someone flipped a switch, my brain just went fuzzy. The only thing intelligent that I could come up with was, "You're still really heavy." I saw the faintest smirk cross Hiei's face.

I felt him shift his weight and I thought he was going to stand up, but he didn't. He leaned forward, putting his forearms on the ground beside my head and put most of his weight on them. His toned stomach pressed up against mine and he put one knee on the ground to take the rest of the weight. "Better?" He asked, the slightest bit of sarcasm sneaking into his voice.

I was speechless. I had no idea what was about to happen, or what was even happening. He had me so twisted into a pretzel, I could barely manage a nod. Feeling brave, I lifted my gaze and stared into his eyes and propped myself up on my elbows, still squashed between him and the ground. Hiei didn't agree with this decision and he pushed me back down, pressing his lips against mine and pressing his body up against me. His fingers found a way to get entangled with mine and I wouldn't have been able to move if I had wanted to. When I had use of my hands again, I wrapped my hands around him and felt his muscular back. His toungue pried my lips open wider and I just let him explore. I felt something harden against me, and a smile crossed my lips. Were we gonna do it right here and now?

"You're not ready for that yet," I heard Hiei think

"Are you reading my mind?" I thought back.

Hiei kissed me even more passionately, "You finally opened your mind to me, I wanted to look around." He kissed my body up and down, going on my inner thighs and back up to my neck. I enjoyed every touch and movement the fire demon made. "So this is enough." His thought continued as a smile crossed his face and he kissed my neck one more time. "For now..."


	7. You're Hurting Me!

Chapter 7-You're hurting me!

A few days past, and Hiei and I were wary of our new relationship. Neither of us, really knew how to do deal with it, it was all so foreign.

One morning, I was sitting on the floor with my legs crossed and my hands folded. Since our discovery a few weeks ago, I could never seem to get a moment of silence. I began trying to block everything else out. I could feel the warm rays of the early morning sun on my back as I kept my eyes closed and focused. I was determined to rest my body and save my strength before the real trials began. Little did I know, I was going to do the hardest thing I've ever done in my life very soon. I took in a deep calming breathe and let it out slowly. I let my aura reach outwards, feeling the energy from the few plants in the room before extending out. The first aura I came across was Kurama's and it didn't surprise me to feel it coming closer. The next set of energies I brushed against were Kuwabara's and Yukina's. I was surprised Hiei's was no where to be found. They were settled in the kitchen and were soon joined by a weaker life energy that I assumed was Koenma's. Although he was a spirit lord, he had almost no power, even if he had begun refilling his mafucan. I felt Kurama's aura brush slightly against my own before I pressed out farther. I was pushing my limits now. I had yet to be able to push past the kitchen's walls with my energy, but it wasn't for lack of trying. I pressed on with my determination, suddenly I felt the familiar energy of Hiei as it appeared out of nowhere and made me withdraw completely, knocking me onto my back and making my head slap against the wooden floor.

"Are you alright?" I opened my eyes and noticed Hiei had become much closer, as he was now standing in the doorway. He walked to me and knelt down, putting a hand on the back on my head. "You shouldn't push yourself." He told me.

"I'm fine." I grumbled, shrugging him off. He smirked but said nothing. "Is there something else you needed?" I asked. Then, he did the strangest thing, he crossed his legs as well and sat down in front of me. "Something wrong?"

"Hn," He closed his eyes and apparently began to meditate as well.

"I'll take that as a 'no'." I copied his actions. Soon, I was in that peaceful state again, taking in the energies around me. Finding Hiei's, I studied it. It was possibly the most massive amount of energy that I had ever felt. How did he keep all that inside his body? I wondered. Everything else was just a pebble to Hiei's mountain of energy.

He just sat like that for a long time, but when I felt like I was going to slip into sleep, I stood up. I was really sorry that I had to end that moment though. It felt really nice; being in such a peaceful place with Hiei there, just meditating. I turned to go and offered Hiei a half smile, but he had grabbed my arm. "What is it?" I asked.

Hiei put his arms around me and held me to his chest. He placed his hand on the back of my head once more. I closed my eyes clutched his cloak. "You're meditating may be the only time your mind is quiet." He said.

"Thats probably true." I muttered. _What's going to happen to all of us now?_ I wondered

"Everything will be fine." He told me, and we sat in silence again. Hiei stirred, releasing me and I looked to the door where he was staring. Just for a moment we saw Kuwabara disappear from view. Hiei pursed his lips.

"Its just Kuwabara" I started but Hiei was already gone, I had no idea which way he had gone. "Figures.." I muttered.

I kicked a rock outside and I listened to the world around me. "None of us should be wandering alone." I heard the red-head say as he came up behind me "You least of all." He picked up a rock threw it into the river.

I offered him a smile. "Hi Nosy." I picked up a rock as well, but deciding that there was no way I could possibly throw it as far as he had, I skipped it gracefully across the river, making Kuwabara laugh. "Kuwabara, about what you saw..."

"Your secret is safe with me." He told me. "I don't know you got Shorty to have feelings but its ok with me." I thought about what he said. As for our new 'relationship' I was still afraid I was walking in a dream, and Hiei, I think, just wasn't ready for people to know, least of all Kuwabara. "Hey you wanna spar a little?"

"You're on!" I told him. Though I was now able to hold my own, I wasn't very good. Kuwabara knocked me to the ground and held his sword out, blocking me. I was about to laugh, sportsmanlike and declare him the winner when Hiei appeared in front of me, absolutely seething at Kuwabara.

"Get away from her!" The fire demon spat.

Kuwabara instantly 'sheethed' his sword and held up his hands, as I climbed easily to my feet. "Whoa little man..."

"Hiei, calm down." I tried to place a hand on his shoulder, but he just shrugged me away. "We were just..." but Hiei wasn't listening.

"What the hell did you think you were doing?" He shouted.

"Geez man, we were just sparing. It wasn't like I was.." Kuwabara didn't get to finish his sentence, because Hiei was lunging at him, sword drawn.

"How about we make you the defenseless one?" He cried, attacking Kuwabara, who barely had time to draw his weapon again, much less defend himself.

"Hiei stop it!" I cried, but the fire demon paid no attention. "Hiei please!" I felt tears well in my eyes and I could do nothing to stop this assault. I put my hands on my cheeks, momentarily covering my eyes as Hiei and Kuwabara battled on. My voice cracked as I yelled again. "Hiei, STOP IT!" I fell to my knees as the tears exploded down my face without halt. "You're scaring me! Stop!"

"Rosewhip!" I heard from a distance and suddenly Kurama's weapon came from seemingly out of no where and stole Hiei's katana right out of his hands. And then I was sobbing in Kurama's arms, and the fight was over. Kurama ushered Kuwabara and me back to the house, leaving Hiei to follow. Even though Kurama had calmed me down, I refused to budge on telling what had happened. Eventually, I feel asleep.

When I awoke, it was much later, I looked over to Hiei looking out the window, his arms folded. I was scared again. I shut my eyes again quickly and faked sleep. "Don't pretend." his velvety voice scolded. "I know you're awake."

Busted. I opened my eyes again, but otherwise stayed perfectly still, unsure of what Hiei was going to do. Hiei came over and sat on the edge of the bed, his bandaged fingers searching for my hand. I removed the washcloth on my forehead that had been place there to keep me cool, then offered him my hand. He laced our fingers again and looked out the window again. I braved my first words. "Kuwabara's your teammate." I scolded. "Did you really think he was going to hurt me, or because you have just been looking for an excuse to pick a fight with him?"

"Hn," He looked at me, I felt his fingers tighten around mine.

"Hiei, you're holding my hand to tight." I told him gently, but he appeared not to hear me. "Hiei, please let go" I said a little louder. "Ow! You're hurting me!" Hiei seemed to snap out of whatever trance he was in and let go, and jumped off the bed, standing as far away from me as he possibly could. I stared at him for just a moment. Then without warning, his fist met a nearby wall, creating a loud bang, and making me jump. I threw my legs over the side of the mattress and ran to him. "Please, don't do that! It was an accident you didn't do it on purpose!" I cried.

I heard the _drip drip drip_ of blood coming from his hand. "You're bleeding!" I exclaimed. I retrieved the washcloth from the bed and handed it to him. He took it and leaned down to mop up the blood on the floor. "That was for your hand, Hiei." I told him, rolling my eyes, but he ignored me. He threw the washcloth onto the windowsill when he was done and began to walk out the door. "Hiei! Please don't leave me!" I saw his back stiffen as he paused in the doorway. "Hiei?" I begged quietly, "Please?"

He turned to me slowly, and walked a few steps closer. "I...won't make you cry. You have stopped loving me and I will not attempt to get it back. I refuse to hurt you again. I will go and..."

His words made me explode, "No!" I yelled, tears welling up again. "It was an _accident_! I love you, Hiei! Can't you see that? Why do you want to hurt me? Why did you make me fall for you? Why couldn't you have just stayed away? Its all so stupid!"

"Shhhhh..." I was in Hiei's arms again, he was patting my hair and nuzzling my cheek. "I'm sorry. I won't leave you."

I pulled away from him slightly, his arms still around me. I sniffed and looked into his eyes. "You..can't say stuff like that to me, okay?" Hiei didn't move. "I will _never _stop loving you! I feel as if I've known you my entire life. When we are together, its like I've been dead until now. Do you understand me? Nothing will make me stop, NOTHING!" Hiei pressed me back into his chest as I sobbed some more. He just let me cry and was willing to just be there with me until I stopped.

"I'm here until you order me away." He told me.

Weeks past, and I was starting to relax as my relationship with Hiei and the team deepened and my fighting skills improved dramatically. Several of Yomi and Mukuro's lower class demons came every few days to attack us, but to no avail. I quite honestly did not see the point, both Yomi and Mukuro knew our team's strength, so why did they keep sending demon's that they knew had no chance in defeating us. I began to trust Hiei more and more and if possible felt my love for him grow deeper every day. I could only assume he felt the same as we spent every waking moment, relaxing outside, training or sleeping (or...) He was much more careful with his strength around me and our little fight seemed forgotten. It scared me to think of how much I had come to depend on him in such a short time. But we knew what was coming would be even more terrifying as this was just the calm before the storm.

a/n-sorry, tiny writers block. Trying to get over it. Lemme know if you have any suggestions.


	8. You Think You're Tough, Eh?

Chapter 8-You think you're tough, eh?

The day dawned easy and I got up before anyone else. I was still in my pajamas of bra and shorts but I didn't are. I looked at Hiei, he looked almost innocent sleeping like that. It would be a shame to wake him, I looked around, but couldn't find to find a single thing clean. Without hesitation, I grabbed one of Hiei's spare shirts and threw it on over my clothes. It looked somewhat like a dress on me because of my height. Hiei normally towered over me. It struck me as funny that Hiei could tower over _anyone. _The fire demon stirred as I giggled and I quickly covered my mouth and left the room.

As I got together the things to make coffee, I felt the hairs on my neck stand up. I turned around slowly, but I was alone. A branch knocked against the window, causing me to jump. _Someone is watching me..._ I attempted to shove my paranoia out of my mind and decided I wanted to make Hiei breakfast. I glanced out the window again as the sun was just starting to rise. What was I thinking? I was alone, I was being silly. I went to the fridge and got out some breakfast fixings and as I turned around..

"BOO!" I jumped about a foot in the air, screamed and set everything flying.

"Yusuke, you twit!" I exclaimed furious, as I began to gather up the spoiled ingredients. I slapped the lower part of his leg as he continued to howl with laughter.

"What?" he giggled. "I was just keeping you on your toes."

I stood up and tossed everything in the garbage and held up my hand as it twitched and sparked with my spirit energy that was beginning to resurface. "As soon as my powers resurface" I threatened, "Your ass will be the first one I kick, Uremeshi!"

"Ya, ya, get in line." he laughed

I raised my eyebrows. "I could always ask Hiei for help." I laughed as I stared him down. Over the last few weeks, our relationship had become more public even if we didn't participate in _public_ displays of affection.

"Psh, I'd hate to make it three-for-three." Yusuke joked back.

"The last was a draw." said a voice from the doorway. "But now you should hope you could get out alive. It would be embarrassing for you to talk big and eat all your words." Hiei sneered at the former detective.

"Not as embarrassing as..standing on a phonebook while you fight!" Yusuke yelled back. I rolled my eyes. Was I the only adult around here?

"You're starting to make me prefer Kuwabara!" Hiei retorted, leaning forward._Yup, _ I thought, _definitely the only adult. _

Keiko called for Yusuke from the next room and he ran to find out what she needed, leaving Hiei and I alone, but not before sticking his toungue out at Hiei. I shook my head gently, "Idiot." I muttered.

Hiei leaned against the doorframe and only then did I realize what he was staring at. I felt my cheeks glow scarlet. "I'm sorry," I told him, pulling at the bottom of his shirt. "I was cold. I hope you don't mind."

"Hn," I saw the slightest smile cross his lips. I watched his eyes wander up and down my body and then again, his eyes lingering in certain areas. I began to feel a little bit self-conscious, wishing I had chosen something else to wear.

"Keep it up, Hiei." I scolded. "And I'll poke that extra eye of yours right out." Hiei looked taken aback.._Did I just make him blush? No..couldn't have..._

Hiei turned away from me, but did not leave the room. I could barely contain my grin. He was _embarrassed! _"I love you." I told him, but he was still grumbling, which only made me laugh harder.

"I don't love you" He told me.

That made me stop laughing instantly. "Hiei.." I scolded, hurt. Before I had time to react, he slammed into me and we rammed the counter, causing a bag of flour to explode around us.

It took me a few moments to realize what was happening as we rolled around on the ground. Hiei was wrestling with me, and not giving it his all, I might add. It seemed he was trying to be.._playful._ I rolled him onto his back and pinned him, for all of about a second, until he easily prevailed. I looked into his crimson eyes, totally pinned. He had flower all over his face, as I'm sure I did too.

I was feeling particularly giddy as I licked my thumb and created a clear spot in all the flour on my forehead and told him, "We match." laughing. We tried to hold back our laugher but after a few seeping through we cracked up and lay there on the kitchen floor, covered in baking mix, just being with each other. I'd never known Hiei to play or even have _fun. _

I 'pinned' him again, (or rather he let me pin him) and I leaned down and kissed him. His free arm wrapped around me and his other danced on my bare legs."Behave." I told him, my lips still pressed against his as I shivered and remembered our last little ground adventure. My hand slid down his chest and my I fingered one of tear gem stuck under his chest. I pulled it, still on the string around his neck and examined it. Hiei put a bandaged hand around mine, and I thought he was going to take the stone back from me, but he didn't he just held my hand as I gazed into it and said nothing.

After a few moments, he did remove my hand. He sat himself up on his elbows and removed the necklace. He placed it in my hand, gently. "Here." He said.

It took me a minute to realize what he was doing. I closed my hand around it and pushed it back to him. "Hiei, I can't accept this. I know how important it is to you."

He took it out of my hand, and I thought he was agreeing with me as he stared at it as well. However, instead of putting it back on his own, he slipped it over _my_ neck.

"It is important to me." he agreed. He held up the stone, connected to the string around my neck and placed it in my hand once again. "But you are more important to me." I held my breath, afraid to say anything and ruin this moment. "I..." His eyes glanced down momentarily as if unsure, and then stared right back at me. "I love you."

Later that afternoon, (after taking almost a full bottle of shampoo to get the flour out of my hair) I sat down with Boton and Yukina as we watched the boys spare from a distance. I watched Hiei closely as it was determined that Kuwabara would go up against him next. "Play nice, boys" I muttered, my thoughts wandering back to all the times Kuwabara and Hiei had gotten into it over some silly disagreement or snide comment, usually from Hiei's smart mouth.

My thoughts drifted back to the conversation. I heard Yukina talking again about finding her long-lost brother. Hiei's stone poked out slightly from under my shirt, I suddenly felt like it was as large as a golfball. I felt guilty and glanced over at Hiei again, who looked none to thrilled. That was the bad thing about letting him in, I couldn't figure out how to turn it off. _I'll bet even his third eye is glaring at me._ I thought.

A small garden snake slithered its way up to us and seemed to tilt its head. The snake raised its head and looked as us, it was then we noticed it was green and had _three_ red eyes. I giggled. "You remind me of Hiei." Boton and Yukina laughed as well. The snake rose itself a little more and lightly hissed at my comment. "Oh, you think you're tough,eh?" Over the last few days I can come to have almost _perfect_ control over my newfound energy and I was able to levitate the snake and hurl it yards away from us with ease. It slithered off in the opposite direction, offended. We laughed.

The boys rejoined us a few minutes later as we all tried to forget about the upcoming inevitable battle. We sat in the sun and splashed around in the river and even watched the sunset, but as do all good things, the day eventually came to an end.

When everyone else retired, Hiei and I stayed and gazed at the stars. He let me sit between his legs again and nuzzled my cheek. He even cracked a smile when I told him about the snake. We sat like that in silence for a few minuets.

"Hiei?" I asked, still looking at the sky. "About Yukina.."

"No." He cut me off, without even hearing my sentence.

"But-"

"No,"

"But I just thought..."

"Quiet!" He said angrily, he took a breathe and let it out again and when he spoke again, his voice was much gentler. "Quiet now. I will tell Yukina when I'm ready. I've told you before..."

"That stuff you think matters to her doesn't." I told him matter-of-factly. "I asked her today what she was looking for and she said it didn't matter." Hiei attempted to interrupt me but I didn't let me. "She also looks up to _you_, Hiei. Not her brother, _you. _Kuwbara said you were 'deadly and would bite of her head'" I mimed the funny face Kuwabara had made, but it didn't give Hiei the same laugh it had given me. "And Yukina defended you, said that was no way to talk about a perfectly decent guy."

Hiei closed his eyes. "What does she know?" he scoffed.

"I know." I countered. "You say you want everyone to tell Yukina you're dead. But honestly, I don't think you really _want _ people to close that door for you." I waited for Hiei to contradict me, but he didn't, he just looked at me oddly. "You care about people, and they care about you, and I _think_ thats what scares you the most. She will love you for who you are..."I waited for Hiei to look me in the eye again.. "And for what's in your heart. None of that other stuff matters." I paused. "I love you, for who you are. Nothing more, nothing less...okay?"

I gave him a quick peck on the lips, but when I went to withdraw, Hiei pulled my mouth back to his and kissed me passionately. I kissed him back and ran my hands up and down his chest and sometime after that, he lost his shirt and my jacket disappeared. We kissed like we couldn't get close enough to each other, as if we would never see each other again. As we lay there under the stars, falling deeper in love with each other than either of us thought possible, I wished that this moment would never end. I wanted to stay here with Hiei and never let me go.

It was as if there was no one in the world but us. This moment. This kiss. "I'd rather die tomorrow then live another day without you." He told me, little did we know how ironic, and potentially deadly, those feelings were about to become.

a/n-sorry its so short, but the next few events are just going to spill out and this tender moment would be lost with all thats going to happen and I _really _wanted the readers to feel empathy for their relationship so I had to put it out in a chapter all it its own. Please forgive me teasing you.


	9. I Don't Love You

Chapter Nine- I Don't Love You

I was awoken by someone shaking me in the middle of the night. I groggily opened my eyes. "Wha..?" Before I even utter a word, a hand covered my mouth.

"Come with me!" Kurama hissed in my ear, "And don't make a sound!" My eye sight started to adjust to the room and I quickly threw on a long sleeve shirt over my pajamas and followed him out the door. There was a loud explosion outside and I looked to Kurama for answers. "We have to go out the back or avoid detection." he told me quietly. After what seemed like hours, I think we were back in the basement. Kurama bolted the door shut behind us and stuck his head out a window that lead to the outside. Once he was sure the coast was clear he laced his fingers together and held them out for me. "Up you go." He told me, motioning to use his hands as a step.

I hesitantly stepped up and out the window. It was a bit of a challenge but some how I managed to pull myself up. I climbed to my feet and stuck my hand back in the window to assist Kurama "I'm okay." I whispered, but he angrily shushed me and climbed out the window as well.

No sooner than Kurama stood up then he yelled "Look out!" but it was to late. Someone snatched me up and put their hand over my neck. I saw Kurama reach into his hair and pull out a rose, and it quickly morphed into his trademark rosewhip.

"No Kurama," The woman cooed, "You wouldn't risk that weapon with your sister in my grasps now would you?" I saw Kurama's eyes darken. "Thought so."

I gulped for air, and was able to get a glimpse of my captor. I had to do something. I knew if I screamed, Makuro would take my life. _Hiei! _I tried to tell him telepathically, no idea if he could hear me or not, _I really need you. Kurama and I are at Makuro's mercy and she has me captive. _

"Shura!" Makuro yelled, seemingly at nothing, "Entertain this one!" and out of nowhere appeared the offspring of Yomi and with no time wasted, attacked Kurama, the two fighters moving so fast, that they looked like a blur. Kurama knocked Shura to the ground, but he stubbornly climbed to his feet,ready for more.

As if on que, Makuro pulled my hair and put her lips near my ears. "You want to scream don't you? You want Hiei to try and save you?" she sneered. "You know he couldn't beat me. Would you risk his life to save your own?" she pressed her palm down making it harder for me to breathe.

Even through her attacks I was able to gasp out, "Never!" I shook my head to attempt to rotate her hand. "I'd rather die than see him hurt!"

For some reason, my words brought a smile to the villains lips. She released me. "Interesting." She sneered. "Is that so? There's your precious Hiei." She pointed to him, restrained on the ground, hooked up to wires like the first time he met Makuro, out cold.

"You wench! You horrible woman!" I yelled. "How could you do that to him? He trusted you!" I glared at her, my fists sparking angrily. "He thought you understood him! And all this time, you've betrayed him!" I tried to run to him, but Makuro easily put up a barrier wall between him and I.

She howled with laughter. "You really do care about him don't you, Human?"

"More than anything!" I snarled, my teeth gritting. I raised my fists. "Now let him go!" I took a fighting stance and prepared to battle even with no chance of victory.

Makuro just raised an eyebrow at my fighting stance. "Well you're a feisty one, aren't you?" She flicked her hand at me and I was suddenly floating towards her with no control of my body. When she was done she also used her spirit energy to manipulate Hiei's sword and let it hover just above his neck, letting it go would have ended his life. "Now you listen close." She hissed. "I will be back in ten days. You said it yourself, you'd rather see him alive without you than dead. So, you are not to be together anymore. I don't care if you run away, I don't care if you die. But see that it happens. Mark my words, Hiei will be mine once more."

Makuro let the energy that was holding me go and I fell the ground. I looked up at her, terrified. Was she really going to let me live or was she toying with me? She gave a silent signal and Shura put out a barrier between himself and Kurama, preparing to depart. Makuro made the energy holding the katana wiggle a little, letting the blade go higher and then fall and then stopping just before hurting the fire demon, much to my displeasure. She looked at me and gave me that creepy smile. "You are not to tell him, or you both will die" She let katana fall, just missing Hiei by inches. "That's twice, I've held your lives in my hands, and that's twice I've given it back to you. Break my rules, and I doubt I'll be as merciful." and with that she and Shura were gone.

Back in the house, after making sure Kurama wasn't injured, I stared out the window. There was no way I could compete with Makuro, especially if Hiei couldn't. Hiei kept giving me worried looks, and I wished I could tell him what was going on, but that would me instant death. I was sure of it. We may have had Hiei's body back, but I was sure of it, Makuro still had possession of him. That is not to say that he was being mind controlled or anything, but that she had a way of knowing everything that was said, ever action.

I looked at Hiei, longingly, but said nothing. There was nothing to say. I crawled into the bed and pushed my back against his chest, letting his arms wrap around me. I was grateful he didn't tell me he loved me, I don't think I could've handled it. He nuzzled my cheek and neck and let his hair tickle my forehead. "Everything's fine." he told me. But it wasn't. Nothing would ever be fine again. The only response I gave was a quiet. 'Mmh' noise to let him know I had heard. I snuggled into him as close as I could possibly get and cried myself to sleep knowing, there was nothing that could help me atone for what I was about to do.

During the next week, I trained relentlessly. I knew there was never going to be a battle because of the what I was planning. I barely spoke to anyone and found myself not really listening, even if they said something to me directly. I avoided the fire demon at all costs. I was tugging at my hair, and pulling at my clothes, trying to keep my cool, I know it was obvious. When I was staring at my feet, my cheeks would turn red, wishing there was something I could do. Every night I thought I was squeezing him to hard, but he just embraced me with no suspicions. He knew Makuro was after me, but he knew nothing else, and I was not about to clue him in, for fear of what she would do.

It wasn't fair. Hiei and I had gotten off to a bad start and things had 180ed. Why couldn't have Makuro wanted Hiei again when I still thought he had a bad attitude? We had come so far since we met and I adored him, heart and soul. It killed me to think that I think about hurting him, but it was the only way I could save him, I couldn't bare to think of the alternative. There was no way I could defeat her myself. Hiei and Makuro had fought before, and there had barely been a scratch on her, it was like a child trying to fight a grown man, and we all know how well that works out.

On the ninth day, it was time. There was no delaying the inevitable. I had to do what's best for us. Maybe not 'us', but he and I, two separate people, two individuals, any way I phrased it, it still broke my heart. For me, it was like catching lightning, the chances of finding someone like Hiei, one in a million chances of feeling the way I do. When Hiei first told me he loved me, I thought with every step together, we would just keep on getting better. I don't want to leave it all behind, but if I stay we will fall. Everything had gotten so gray and messed up. _I love you, _I told him telepathically, getting out of bed and leaving his stone on the pillow where I had been, _but its just to hard to watch it all, slowly fade away. _

I ran as fast as my legs could carry me, if I hesitated even a moment, I would turn back and make the mistake that would cost Hiei and I our lives. I should've known it wouldn't be that easy. I felt Hiei's fast approaching energy. I attempted to hide, but he found me easily. "Hiei.." I gasped.

"Are you hurt?" he demanded, looking me up and down, clenching his fists.

I looked at the ground. "No, I'm not hurt." I told him quietly, I could not bring myself to look into those beautiful eyes and crumble. I saw him clenching his stone necklace in his fist. I took it out of his hand, and placed it over his neck, he gave me a worried look. "Hiei," I cleared my throat. "I've got to move on. You'll be okay, I just don't belong here. I hope you understand." _We might find our place in this world someday, but at least for right now, I have to let you go..._

Hiei picked up the stone and examined it, still staring at it he asked me simply, "What about us?"

"Something about us doesn't seem right lately." I lied then gulped, hoping he couldn't hear my pounding heart as it broke even further.

Hiei waited until I would look at him before he spoke again, killing me, "What about everything we've been through?"

"You know I never meant to hurt you." I said, attempting keep emotion out of my voice that would give me away, this confrontation was almost more than I could bare.

I turned to go, barely holding back the tears.

"Wait."

I knew but I didn't want to admit it, this is why I wanted to leave in the middle of the night. Filled with self-loathing, I thought about all Hiei had been through in his life, being shunned more than once from his so-called family, then enduring the pain of the jagan implant to get back the few things that were sacred to him. He had always thought the feeling he felt was hatred, but it was longing, he longed to belong to something. It had taken him so long to admit it, and when he finally found it in me, this is what happened. To save his life, I was going to have to break his heart. "Hiei!" I yelled, my voice cracking, "I don't love you!"

I wanted to die as I saw realization of what I had said sink in, and I wished he would kill me for what I had done to him. He wanted to hurt me back, I could see it in his eyes. But he didn't, he didn't insult me or strike me, he just stared blankly..almost _through_ me. I couldn't take it, it was to much, I turned and ran, tears streaming down my face as I pushed myself farther and farther away from him when I all I wanted to do was be near him. I'd done everything Makuro had asked, but as I ran, I hoped she killed me anyway. _It would be better than this..._


	10. He's Gonna Kill Her

Chapter ten-He's Gonna Kill Her!

_ The days will keep coming without fail, you'll find better love, deep as the river runs, warm as the morning sun, but please forget me. I'll remember you, Hiei when I'm out walking, and when the snow falls outside my door. Late at night, when I can't sleep, the moonlight will fall across my floor. I know I can't hurt you anymore. _

_ I know it will be hard to get up and get dressed, living this regret. I'll have to stop holding hands with what is now the memory I'm feeling. My wildest dreamings could not foresee lying beside you, with you wanting me. That would never happen again. But I know we were so close, we understood each other. I had so much I could've said, but I just walked away. Never known, what could have been. _

"Hiei!" I screamed, as I woke up crying, shooting up in bed. It was morning now. Hiei and the strange messenger that had interrupted our late night conversation. The messenger had been sent by Makuro, alerting Hiei that he would be assorted today to Makuro's stronghold, to serve as her second in command once more. Kurama had followed the strangers energy and found us minuets later. I had returned with him, but Hiei had yet to be seen again. I wouldn't let that stop me.

I felt a shiver go up my back as my feet hit the floor. I rubbed my eyes and went in search of the fire demon. I found him lounging against a tree about ten minutes from the house. "Hiei." He did not open his eyes, not that I was at all surprised. I gulped. "Hiei, I don't think Makuro means well. I don't think it would be safe for you to go there. You shouldn't go. Let me leave. This is your home."

Hiei opened his eyes and threw me a look of pure loathing. _I guess I deserved that._ "Don't try and tell me what's good for me." He hissed. " And why do you care?"

"I still care about you, Hiei." I managed to squeak out. _You'll be in my mind, and in my heart. It doesn't matter where you are, even if we are miles apart. _

He scoffed at me. "There is a fine line between love and waste of time. I don't have the time to waste on you anymore." He picked himself up and began to leave.

"So that's it then?" I cried, "You're just going to walk away?"

He stopped and looked at me coldly. "You did it, you should recognize the gesture." I had to do something, I couldn't let it end this way. I lunged at him.

"Hiei vs Rachel, round two." I muttered.

Hiei dodged my attack and began his own. I was able to dodge it and step back. I gasped as he came for me again, katana drawn and swinging it wildly. I readied myself with my spirit daggers, after another attempt at my neck, I charged forward and swung hard. At least I had his full attention now. "Pathetic attempt!" His knee connected with my chest and sent me flying backwards, knocking the breathe out of me. I fought to get back on my feet, feeling that he was coming closer at a very fast pace. Hiei ditched his katana, and I found this odd. I didn't have much time to ponder this because his first slammed hard into me. I tumbled back even farther. There was no way I could even compete with him. Hiei was unloading like a toddler at an anger management class, but I did not tell him to stop. He deserved this, but that didn't mean I was going to stand there like a ragdoll.

Genkai and Kurama felt the surge of energy so close the house that was hard to miss. Hiei and I physically fighting not to far away. Kurama felt my energy drop a considerable amount and they burst out the door without looking back. Kurama gaped in open mouth horror at the sight that befell him. Hiei ceased his assault momentarily, but what had started out as my attack had quickly turned into a one-sided beating.

I was trying to stand but Hiei wouldn't let me. My left eye was swollen shut and turning a very dark shade of purple, I'm sure. Blooded gushed from a deep gash on my forehead and mixed with my hair. "He's going to kill her!" Genkai scoffed.

Hiei came at me and I used all my strength to avoid him and attempt to trip him. He stumbled, but did not fall. It gave me just enough time to get the upper hand. "You really are a pathetic human." He sneered, using an insult from when he and I had first met.

"No!" I panted. "This isn't over."

"You're body can't withstand your injuries' pain.." Hiei laughed.

I narrowed my eyes. This physical pain was nothing compared to my inner turmoil. "Don't you tell me what pain I can or can't handle." I spat angrily. I felt my energy rise gradually. There was something else coming, my attack was on its way. The ball of energy that appeared in my hand exploded in a quick, bright flash. Hiei was quick to shield his eyes and detect my movements. I came at him from behind, he chuckled and turned to confront me, bringing his arm up to block my kick. "Wrong move." I told him. I said, behind him once more and so was my kick which sent him flying, slamming him hard into a nearby tree.

"Do you think its wise to let them continue like this?" Genkai asked Kurama.

"Yes. Look at the two fighters. Hiei never battles hand to hand. It seems they are using violence as a means to communicate with each other."

Hiei smirked slightly my assault but it turned from a full-on attack to me just slamming my fists into his chests like a toddler, sobbing. Hiei simply put an arm around me then noticed the two gauckers. "Do you mind?" He exclaimed. "We don't need an audience!" Kurama and Genkai chuckled and quickly disappeared.

"Oh, my mistake." Came Makuro's voice, coming closer. "I didn't realize this was a closed showing." Hiei dropped his arm and stepped in front of me.

"Hiei?" I whispered. Hiei's fist shook and his eye's narrowed. It was hard to believe he could've heard a whisper I had barely heard myself.

Makuro's eyes landed on me, filled with hatred. I knew from the tapes that when Makuro's was filled with hatred, her powers were unmatchable. We were going to have problems, if we didn't play things perfectly. "I thought I told you to disappear." she hissed at me. She seemed like she was powering up to take me out.

"She's not your concern" Hiei told her matter-of-factly. Makuro seemed to hesitate and looked at us strangely. "When you came to me three months ago, I told you I would leave human world. I don't need an escort."

My eyes widened at this recent development. Suddenly, everything I thought I knew about my relationship with Hiei was off. I had felt like the horrible one for leaving, but had he been planning on leaving all along? We had been here about that time, I wouldn't have been surprised if it had happened within a day or two of us arriving. Would Hiei have left even if I hadn't tried to myself or would he have stayed and been with me? I couldn't tell if I had won or lost. No, I knew, I'd lost. Even if Hiei hadn't been planing on leaving after all that had happened, I still lost him. He was no longer mine.

"Don't look so surprised, Human." She told me. "Did you really think you, a mere _girl, _could change what had survived for years?" She laughed menacingly. "Hiei, it is time for us to depart. I gave you your three months. Let's go."

My eyes welled with tears. For some reason, I thought Makuro wouldn't hurt Hiei, there was something in her face that seemed for a moment, innocent. I placed my hand on Hiei's shoulder, to Makuro's disapproval. "Hiei." I whispered. "Please."

He glanced over his shoulder at me, then back at Makuro. "Lets go." She crossed her arms and offered me a sticky smile. She began to walk back the way she came. I dropped to my knees and hung my head, crying. Hiei hesitated for only a moment, not looking back at me and then followed, lagging behind shortly.

"Hiei!" I yelled, raising myself up a little, but he did not turn around again. "Don't go." I whispered. Hiei stopped and turned around. He looked from Makuro to me and seemed conflicted.

"I've had enough of this." The red head rolled her eyes. My eyes widened in horror as I saw the biggest blast of energy I had ever seen coming towards me. As I savored my final moments I saw Hiei leap from Makuro's side and jump directly into the blast deflecting it from me completely. I shrieked his name and ran to him as he fell to the ground.

He didn't move.

a/n-thanks for sticking with me. I haven't updated in a while because I didn't want to throw just anything up, I wanted it to be right! Thanks. Lemme know if you have anything you want me to add or questions. I won't tell you how it ends but I have no problem talking about things to come, in other writings or otherwise.

See you soon!


	11. I'm Not Running

Hiei remained lifeless as I shook him called his name frantically. "Hiei please! Open your eyes!" I begged. "Please wake up! I'm so sorry, please Hiei, open your eyes!"

"Try what you will, but your efforts are in vain!" Makuro mocked. "Hiei will never be the same again." I attempted to ignore her, I was to overcome with my grief as she continued. "Its so sad, a mere human affected so strongly and you don't even know what you're capable of, what you stuck your hands in, you'll find out soon enough."

I rose myself slowly to my feet. "I will never forgive you!" I spat. "You don't know what the hell you are talking about!"

Makuro smirked. "Perhaps not, but frankly I don't particularly care either."

I looked back down at Hiei. My sorrow mixed slightly with my anger, then heartache. I was already exhausted from my fight with Hiei, not to mention, far past emotionally drained. I was no match for Makuro even at my top strength. I was so mad, I didn't care. Everything around me seemed to go red as I lunged at her. She dodged easily and I wasn't surprised. She'd had years to perfect her fighting style, I had been training a little under three months. I know in like the movies and whatever you just get amazing when the time comes, but let me tell you, this is not the case. Trust me, I have the scars from when she slammed me into the ground repeatedly. She seemed to toy with me for a few moments then she flipped away from me. I glanced back and Hiei and then back at Makuro, who threw what seemed to be a razor sharp line my way. I wasn't in the mood to touch it and find out though.

The next razor line she threw almost hit Hiei and I ducted it to make sure that he was okay. I shook my head at my stupidity. I knew he was dead. The line singed at tiny piece of what was left of my t-shirt. I angrily shot a spirit dagger at her. "Your willingness to die concerns me." She told me.

"Place your concern elsewhere!" I got to my feet. _Hiei and I will be together soon._ I felt my energy forming into balls in my fists. I was putting my whole heart, soul and life into this one attack. "I'm giving this all I have." I told Hiei's body. I closed my fists together because it was getting to hard to contain them separately. Makuro didn't even guard herself. When I felt I had given it all the energy I had, leaving just enough to stand on my feet, I felt myself weaken. _ I don't care if I never fire another blast again. I don't care if I die. All I want is to make this blast with everything I have and _hope_ she doesn't get back up._

I tapped into my life energy, because I felt that was what Hiei deserved. My attack knocked me backwards, but I regained my footing. I saw the orb hit Makuro as if it was in slow motion. It actually seemed to hit her dead on and surprise her. When the smoke cleared, I saw no sign of the red headed demon. I dropped to my knees in disbelief. I had no idea I had the power to knock Makuro into oblivion. I laid my head on Hiei's chest, exhausted. I felt his chest move. My eyes fluttered open. I stared at his chest as it rose and fell. _He's breathing! _His eyes remained closed, to my dismay. "Hiei! Come on baby, open your eyes! Open your eyes!" I shook him lightly but he didn't do anything more/ I didn't care. He was alive! "Hiei, come on! Wake up!" I pleaded.

"Try what you will, your efforts are in vain." Makuro repeated from above me. I closed my eyes slowly. I knew it was to good to be true. Makuro dropped down from the tree branch she was standing on. "He's not who you think he is." She told me matter-of-factly.

"Shut up!" I hollered. "Can't you just leave us alone! He's fine!"

Makuro threw back her head and laughed. "Look again, you may have his body, but you will see he is still mine."

"What are you talking about?" I snarled but Makuro didn't answer. Hiei's eyes fluttered opened and he climbed to his feet, but there was something off about him. It was zombie-like, eerie. "What did you do to him?" I demanded. Before Makuro could answer, I gaped in open mouth horror at the sight that befell me.

Hiei's skin had changed from perfectly tan to olive green and it was only getting darker, and little purple eyes began to pop up all over his arms, legs and chest. I released his arm in shock and jumped back. Hiei stumbled from side to side for a few moments as if he couldn't figure out the new equilibrium. "No!" shouted. "Hiei don't!"

Makuro crossed her arms, I wanted to wipe that smile right off her face. "He can't hear you now. He has taken on his full demon form now." I tried to charge her again but she put up some sort of forcefield which knocked me to the ground. I shot her a look of pure loathing and attempted to reach Hiei again. "Hiei, please!" I shouted, still a little hesitant to get close. "Listen to me! Come back!"

"I would start running if I were you." Makuro told me with that same sticky grin. I narrowed my eyes in disgust. There was nothing she could to me anymore. She had taken the love of my life. No, I'd done that to myself. But now, now she was toying with Hiei like he was some insignificant lab rat. I could kill her with my bare hands if only she would take down her stupid barrier.

Hiei's eyes fluttered and seemed to roll back into his head for a moment. He seemed himself for just a moment. There was no mistaking what he said, as he looked unblinking straight at me. "Run." he told me clearly.

I stood up straight and clenched my fists, digging my nails into my palms and gritting my teeth. I was fairly certain Hiei was back to his full demon form, but I said it anyway. "No!" I said defiantly. "That's enough! I don't want to hear it! I'm sick of you telling me to run! I am not running! Not without you."

Hiei made gave no inclination that he had heard me and Makuro mocked "How touching." She narrowed her eyes and shrugged. "Kill her!" My eyes widened as Hiei turned to me, but refused to move. "What are you waiting for? I said kill her!" she screamed. Hiei threw back his head as Makuro began to chant, seemingly making the spell stronger and Hiei was having more and more trouble fighting it. It was only a matter of time.

_It must be hell in there._ I thought to myself _first I break your heart, and now you are stuck in a war with yourself...and you're losing._ I clenched my fists harder. _No more delaying the inevitable. Its time I take my responsibility and make my stand!_ I ran to the fire demon and clutched his shirt. His sharp fingernails dug into my shoulders as he grabbed me roughly. "I'm begging you!" I shrieked. "Please don't change! I'll lose you forever!" Hiei groaned and howled and shook his head from side to side. _How can I stop this?_ I thought frantically. "You want to stay with me, don't you?" I asked quietly, a tear running down the side of my cheek. I felt blood began to drip from where his nails were cutting into my delicate skin. I didn't care. "I love you the way you are! I'm sorry Hiei. I've always loved you. Please stay with me! I love you!" I used all my strength I had to pull myself up to kiss him but only managed to peck his lips but it seemed to be enough.

I heard Makuro call out in protest and I felt her hands around my neck, pulling me away from Hiei. "Not so fast!" Hiei yelled. He gently threw me to the ground behind him and aimed point blank at Makuro. "Dragon of the darkness flame!"

"Hiei stop!" Makuro yelled, barely holding off the attack.

"Never!" he retorted. "You will have to rip off my arms and legs to keep me down."

"Shouldn't give her any more suggestions, Hiei!" I shouted, still baffled. Makuro toyed with the dragon and seemed like she was about to overcome it, if that happened, neither of us would have anything left to try and fight her. I was out of options. "I hope you don't think that dragon is completed!"

"Rachel No!" Hiei yelled, but I ignored him. I gave out the last of my life energy and sent out a spirit whip that intertwined with his black dragon. I fell to my knees ready to accept death, but it didn't come. I could feel myself fading. I saw Makuro try and engulf my attack, but the two combined were to much for her and they destroyed her from within. Light poured out of her body from every opening as we saw her disintegrate before our eyes.

I closed my eyes and when I opened them again, I was in Hiei's arms, his lips touching mine. I felt his body heat against my body and his rough hands holding me. His mouth covered mine and I went limp. All I could think was _He's kissing me. He still loves me..._ I opened my eyes sleepily and stared into his crimson eyes I had missed so much in such short a time. "Are you crazy?" He scolded. "I could have really hurt you."

"It was the only way." I replied, then happier than I had ever been in my life, I let the darkness overcome me.


	12. You Talk, You Die

I woke up in the dark an squinted from the glare of the moonlight coming in the open window. I saw Hiei with his back to me sitting on the windowsill, his form casting shadows on the floor. His face seemed to be looking out, but I doubted he was actually seeing anything outside the window due to the expression on his face. I saw a shadow overlap his on the floor caused by someone standing in the doorway. I narrowed my eyes into slits so that I could see but still pretend to be asleep.

"Hiei?" came Kuwabara's voice. Hiei turned his head to look at him, but did not leave his perch on the windowsill. "How's she doing?" Hiei limply raised and lowered one shoulder. Kuwabara hesitated then put a hand on Hiei's shoulder. Oddly, the fire demon did not shrug him off. "I know you're scared." Kuwabara started, "She's tough, she's gonna be fine."

Kuwabara touched my hand and Hiei didn't stop him, he just said quietly, "Don't wake her...please." I resisted a smirk, Hiei and Kuwabara were actually getting along.

"I don't know how you stay so calm." said Kuwabara, turning away rom me. "I don't know what I'd do if something like this were to happen to Yukina." Hiei tensed at the mention of the ice apparition and the tender moment was ruined. "I know she's important to you."

"Of course she is!" Hiei exploded. I couldn't help it, I jumped and Hiei's gaze snapped to me. Nobody said anything or a few moments and I prayed I hadn't given myself away. "Of course she is." He repeated softer, calmer. "I told Makuro once that there were things left in the world worth living for, both or her and for me. She couldn't see that. That's why I left. Rachel is my reason now." There was silence in the room for a full moment.

"I meant Yukina," said Kuwabara carefully.

"Nonsense." Said Hiei darkly.

"I see the way you are with her. You care about her in your own weird way. I can't place it, but its like you don't want anything to happen to her like..." he trailed off. Maybe Kuwabara was smarter than everyone gave him credit for. Hiei said nothing, Kuwabara shrugged. "Maybe I'm imagining things." He paused. "Rachel's gonna be fine, Hiei." he turned to go.

"Fool..." Hiei said to his back, the fire demon sighed."Kuwabara..." the idiot turned back around, stunned by the use of his name. Hiei took a deep breath. "I'm her brother. Yukina is my sister."

Kuwabara's jaw hit the floor. "Whoa, no way! You're her long-lost!"

"Quiet, fool!" Hiei hissed, "You'll wake the whole house!"

Kuwabara shut his mouth but I could see his many emotions playing across his face. _Well that explains alot. _Hiei shuffled his feet. "You know I have to tell her right?" Kuwabara asked carefully. "I feel the same about Yukina as I ever did. Hiei if the places were reversed, would you want Rachel to know the truth?"

"Of course I would!" snapped Hiei. I took a breath. Could they possibly think I was still asleep? Hiei calmed himself down and said. "I know you have to tell her, but..you talk, you die." I let out a giggle. Classic Hiei. He sighed. "I would like to tell her myself."

Kuwabara didn't have a chance to respond, as I saw my red-headed brother enter the room. "I think on some level she may already know, Hiei." He paused. "Kuwabara, can we have a minute?"

"Oh alright," Sighed the goofball, leaving. He turned to Hiei in the doorway. "If you're serious Shorty, I'll keep my mouth shut, but please, for her sake..." and with that he left.

"I'd like to apologize, Hiei." Kurama started. He stole Hiei's spot on the windowsill and felt the fire demon sit gently on the bed next to my head, his fingertips danced on my forehead and stroked my hair. I smiled ever so slightly in the still dark room. "I know that these last few months have been challenging for you. Rachel is my sister, and therefore my responsibility and it seems as if you have been forced to sit idely by and be a pawn in all of this while I went searching for Shura to no avail."

"I love her, Kurama." interrupted Hiei.

Kurama smiled. "I know you do." He looked down at me, "Its amazing, only a short time ago you both misunderstood each other so much and now complete each other like a couple of puzzle pieces. Now we're practically a family." He grinned.

"Kurama, don't make me rip out your precious voicebox." Said Hiei, but he was smiling.

"Well nevermind then." Kurama put his hand on my cheek. "One more thing, I think it would be safest for her to return to America, even with Makuro being defeated. If this was her choice, would you follow her?"

"Of course"

"Really?"

"In a heartbeat." Hiei said.

Kurama shrugged and got up to leave. "Well who knows, it was just a thought." he turned to go and mused to himself, "what dedication."

"How's that?" asked Hiei.

"You don't even question it." answered Kurama. "You just stand by each other."

a/n- sorry so short. I really liked this chapter, I wanted to get it out.


End file.
